The 'V' word

Way off topic, but I don't want to update any relocation stuff, I'm sure you can imagine what's happening though.

Valentine's day is fast approaching and what am I getting? Naff all. I hate Valentine's day, it's predictable, too competitive, overpriced and quite frankly makes me feel sick. Expectations from women are far too high, pressure on men is far too high. Phil and I don't celebrate it because we don't need a gimmicky day to show each other how much we love each other, we do that every single day without fail.

I always wonder how many perfect-for-each-other couples will split up because he didn't outdo her office mates blokes or that he didn't make the proposal as perfect as she'd hoped. Similarly I wonder how many people with esteem issues will feel worthless and unloved for no reason?

For me, when I was single the worst thing about valentine's day was starting new relationships in early February. Now forgive me, but I don't want to spend money on someone I've known for ten days. Even worse than that is when you're in a new relationship, you can't ignore the fact the the day is fast approaching, yet neither of you can bring it up because you don't want to seem desperate.
Needless to say February is the month were relationships can be made or broken. Certainly with me anyway, every relationship I've had that started in February has swiftly ended before the 14th.

URGH!

I've been revelling in a few dating blogs I read on here. Seeing as I'm married and can't date I love reading about the dating lives of other people and I love reading the myriad of advice from dating columns.

One little thing that niggles me about dating is how those who are looking for love find it incredibly difficult. Is finding the one not unlike finding a needle in a haystack? Are some people just more lucky in love than others? Or is love more easily going to happen when you are young?

Even the dating sites are now doing psychological tests to match you with potential soul mates thus 'making dating easier'. Is there any proof that soul mates exist? What's the best way to find them?

I think that soulmates exist, I think that everyone has a soulmate, but not every soulmate will live in the same geographical region. While I think that the internet is a great tool for finding love, I think dating sites are misleading and I don't like how they charge money to use their services. Dating should be free and fun. 'Desperate' people should not be taken advantage of.

I also don't think that psychological matching is anymore help than meeting someone in a bar because I think that everything is down to pure luck. Opposites attract, as do sames. I don't have much in common with my husband but it works.

I find the blind faith some internet daters have in these psychological match makers quite alarming. I often wonder how successful they are or whether they deliberately create mismatches to keep you giving them money?

Just because a man ticks every box doesn't mean he's the one and just because the internet says you will make an awful match, you could end up being perfect for each other.

I think the most important thing in dating is attractiveness. There is NO point dating someone if there is no attraction. Just don't even go there. If you are attracted to someone but have nothing in common why not give it a go?

Before I married I was certainly not looking for marriage. I admit that I did want to marry young so that I could reach my golden anniversary, but I didn't dwell on it. It just happened. I also had some basic requirements that my husband would have to meet though and these were:

Have long hair. I can't date a man with short, or worse, no hair.

Can deal with Spiders. I have an acute fear. I can't be with a man who is scared of them too

Dislike football. There's more to life frankly.

Be a musician. I love musicians, I'm such a musician sweetheart [Not to be confused with groupie/bandwhore].

Make me laugh. I can't stand boring people.

Be an absolute gentlemen. Feminism has made the gentle man an extremely rare breed.

Be a decent DIYer

Ok, so the point I was trying to make was that my husband only meets two or three of these standards and even though he only meets a few, he is still my perfect husband but he meets them all except he's scared of spiders. That ballsed up.

Anyhoo, the point I'm trying to make is just to enjoy yourself, If you have a date on Sunday, I hope it goes well if not, don't beat yourself up over it. If you're in a relationship don't expect too much from your other half, enjoy the day with them. Singles, don't have standards that no man could meet, don't be a drama queen or a princess either. Men don't like princesses.

Happy Valentine's everyone.