Showing my bitter side

Guess who I got an email off?

Helen.

If you don't know who Helen is she's my ex best friend who fell out with me by sending me a harsh harsh email. You can read about her here and here .

After she turned up on my doorstep apologising - well it wasn't an apology as such was it? She wanted to hang after Christmas. Never heard from her. Decided to fuck her off.

On a whim I decided to check my email. I don't really use it anymore because I don't like the address name and I just get spam.

Sent:	09 March 2010 22:04:59
To:

CLAIRE!!!

Sorry it's taken me soooooooooooooo long to get back to you since I saw you last at Christmas, things have been a bit hectic to say the least, I did try looking for you on FB but alas, no joy! I don't use it much any more tbh, it's boring! Think I may have grown out of it!

Anyway, hows you and when we gona catch up?

Love and hugs

She was the reason I got rid of facebook because I just get sick of the drama it involves.

I don't know what to do.

One thing is for sure, she treats me like a doormat. Even Phil's commented how she doesn't want anything to do with me unless she's bored. Which is true, she'll happily keep me sweet on Facebook though. She ALWAYS lets me down by cancelling on me in favour of other people.

The doormat inside me really wants to email her back and hang before I move. BUT, the rest of me either wants to do the typical brush-it-under-the-rug-and-hope-it-doesn't-surface-while-I'm-still-here

OR
Email her back, do what she did to me and tell her how much she hurt me and how I think she killed our friendship. If she wanted this friendship to work, she should have tried harder to repair it. The fact that she thinks she can swan in and out of my life, shows exactly that she only wants to know me when she's bored.

But then that's showing my bitter side isn't it? Do I want to come across like that? No, but she can't treat me like she does. I'm not going to be a doormat anymore and just because we've been friends for 12 years doesn't mean I owe her anything.

If I was in her shoes I'd make it damn clear I was sorry to a friend and I'd try and make it right. But her casualness (is that even a word?) over it all just doesn't make me want to be a mate to her anymore.

Deep down, I really do think our friendship is unrepairable, too little too late and with me moving I think we should leave it.

Even before I saw that email, I've asked Phil to deal with her if she ever were to come round before we move. I'll either see red or I'll just let her walk all over me so it's best if Phil tells her that I don't want to pick this friendship back up. He thinks I should arrange something with her a few weeks down the line and leave it but that's mean "well see how she likes it." He said.

It's really sad how it got to this. I really wished it hadn't to be honest but what's done is done. Sunrise, sunset. I'm moving on