This will be my last

This will be my last blog post for some time. You see, our new ISP won't give us the Internet in our new place until we've been receiving their TV package for TWO WEEKS! God knows how long it'll be before we get reconnected 4 weeks I think Arrrgh.

Anyway leaving do was really good got loads of nice pictures of the fam (this one is my favourite of my husband, far right)

it was a shame some of them couldn't be there.

Not much to do now in the way of packing just got to scrape all the mould from the walls and repaint the bathroom.

I'm trying to avoid all contact with Helen, She rang Phil on Friday just before the party and demanded to speak to me. After all the times I'd told him to tell her I'd moved he bloody tells her I'm not in, she didn't believe him, called him a liar then said "well if she doesn't want to be friends, whatever" and hung up on him.

Then she rang back apologising saying her tempers down to friends fucking her off oh so you only want to be friends with me because no one else will? She told him to tell me she loves and misses me.

If she was that interested, she could have rang at Christmas and told me that she was too busy to see me. She had a contact number so why didn't she? She lives not a five minute drive from me so why didn't she visit for 15 minutes if she was that busy? I think she was way out of line being rude to Phil so I am not interested. She only misses me because her other friends probably realised what a self centred, arrogant twat she is.

I hope she doesn't come round before the move I really don't want her kicking off. Phil won't "fight my battles for me" arsehole. He's supposed to be on my side. I'll make him send her away and if he tries to make me talk to her on the phone, I'm just going to drop his phone down the toilet then neither of us will have to speak to her. Sure, Phil may be angry about his phone but it's under contract so he can get another one.

I suppose I should send her an email and put her out of her misery but why should I drop everything because she demands it? After all it took her 5 months to decide she wanted to be my friend again.

Well I'm sorry but if people fall out with me for nothing and send me spiteful, nasty emails about how they've wanted to fall out with me for a while then that's it. Final, I am done with that person. I have severe trust issues and once someone breaks that trust I'm afraid I just see no point carrying on with them.

I don't think she realise just how much she hurt me with that email you can't say nasty stuff to me, leave it 5 months and demand for me to be your friend. God I'm so angry with her.

I'm sorry she ruined it. I hope she learns from this that people will not bend over backwards to please her and that maybe she should start treating people with respect.

Anyway my rant and a half is over. I'm sad I won't be able to update this as my new life unfolds for the first few weeks, so I decided to write a diary and I'll do one huge blog update with the entries from that.

Goodbye Wigan, it hasn't been fun at all.

Showing my bitter side

Guess who I got an email off?

Helen.

If you don't know who Helen is she's my ex best friend who fell out with me by sending me a harsh harsh email. You can read about her here and here .

After she turned up on my doorstep apologising - well it wasn't an apology as such was it? She wanted to hang after Christmas. Never heard from her. Decided to fuck her off.

On a whim I decided to check my email. I don't really use it anymore because I don't like the address name and I just get spam.

Sent:	09 March 2010 22:04:59
To:

CLAIRE!!!

Sorry it's taken me soooooooooooooo long to get back to you since I saw you last at Christmas, things have been a bit hectic to say the least, I did try looking for you on FB but alas, no joy! I don't use it much any more tbh, it's boring! Think I may have grown out of it!

Anyway, hows you and when we gona catch up?

Love and hugs

She was the reason I got rid of facebook because I just get sick of the drama it involves.

I don't know what to do.

One thing is for sure, she treats me like a doormat. Even Phil's commented how she doesn't want anything to do with me unless she's bored. Which is true, she'll happily keep me sweet on Facebook though. She ALWAYS lets me down by cancelling on me in favour of other people.

The doormat inside me really wants to email her back and hang before I move. BUT, the rest of me either wants to do the typical brush-it-under-the-rug-and-hope-it-doesn't-surface-while-I'm-still-here

OR
Email her back, do what she did to me and tell her how much she hurt me and how I think she killed our friendship. If she wanted this friendship to work, she should have tried harder to repair it. The fact that she thinks she can swan in and out of my life, shows exactly that she only wants to know me when she's bored.

But then that's showing my bitter side isn't it? Do I want to come across like that? No, but she can't treat me like she does. I'm not going to be a doormat anymore and just because we've been friends for 12 years doesn't mean I owe her anything.

If I was in her shoes I'd make it damn clear I was sorry to a friend and I'd try and make it right. But her casualness (is that even a word?) over it all just doesn't make me want to be a mate to her anymore.

Deep down, I really do think our friendship is unrepairable, too little too late and with me moving I think we should leave it.

Even before I saw that email, I've asked Phil to deal with her if she ever were to come round before we move. I'll either see red or I'll just let her walk all over me so it's best if Phil tells her that I don't want to pick this friendship back up. He thinks I should arrange something with her a few weeks down the line and leave it but that's mean "well see how she likes it." He said.

It's really sad how it got to this. I really wished it hadn't to be honest but what's done is done. Sunrise, sunset. I'm moving on

Phil has a job in the pipe line

Things aren't too bad at the moment, still got some packing to do as well as cleaning. The move is in 11 days and I'm excited. Phil has a job in the pipe line as a guitar teacher at the local school he filled in the CRB check today and he's been using facebook to offer his construction expertise to the village he's had some good responses apparently it's going to be a bit hard at first. There's only 1000 people so the village is quite cliquish.

I'm thinking about offering free portrait/family portrait work to get friendly with the locals but I'll end up questioning my skills and wimp out. Pfftttt.

Shadow's getting better although, his back legs are a mess. We have a leaving do to attend on Friday so, I'm going to take my camera and get some great shots. Depending how they come out, will determine whether I offer my services or not.

I decided not to go for that fundraiser job, I just don't want to work on commission.

Ooh, Glee time! Will do my next blog on after the leaving do! Bye!

I don't want to leave my dog in this state

So I finally found out what's wrong with Shadow.

Because we can't afford a vet at the moment we got Phil's uncle to come and have a look at him. He's not a vet but he can give Cesar Millan a run for his money and he takes on and nurses wild animals back to health from the RSPCA.

He has something called hot spots, areas of skin that weep with pus, a bit smelly and they make it worse by licking the area. One can turn into seven overnight which it has done, caused by stress.

Phil's uncle said that dog packs do everything together and because Shadow's been on his own a lot he's worried himself to the point of self mutilation. He believes that Shadow knows we are moving and the "exclusion" he's felt from us leads him to believe that we're casting him out of the pack and leaving him behind, it's gotten worse as the packing has become complete. He is distressed and more depressed than a sucidal lemming.

Had we known we wouldn't have left him in the hall. We both feel terrible. Even more so because I cancelled the insurance.

So since my last post about him he's not gotten better but he's not got worse. He wears a lampshade collar at night to stop him licking. He doesn't wear it in the day because we can keep an eye on him we're really surprised that these three days he hasn't tried to lick his wounds at all while he's been free of the collar. Yay!

However Phil's uncle was more concerned about Shadow's emotional state and he almost didn't talk about his physical injuries. He's such a depressed pooch it's heartbreaking, we're taking him on more walks and paying him more attention.

I'm worried about leaving him alone when we have our leaving do a week on Friday. It gives us nearly two weeks to get him in a better state, I don't want to not go, but I don't want to leave my dog in this state on his own for a few hours.

I'm even more worried about the journey down there. I can't muzzle him and I can't leave the collar on so I'm gonna see if we can stop every 45 mins so I can check on him, I might have to sit in the back with him if he's bad. Arrrrgh this move is an absolute nightmare, self mutilating dogs, a friend who offered to take the pets down yet doesn't have a van yet (Phil is freaking the hell out over this).

I'm never moving again.