I'm sorry I'm not a size 6

I had a really bad night at work. First off one of the barmaids who wasn't even on her shift decided to take over, I over heard my boss saying "but she's fucking getting paid for it." his wife had a word with her and she stopped.

She'd asked her why she did it when I'm doing fine but I never found out what the barmaids answer was. It just reaffirms a comment that was made I'm pretty useless as a barmaid.

I've been working there for 3 weeks one night a week so in total I've worked 16 hours and I've never worked in a bar before so I'm not exactly a great barmaid but I think I do alright, as do my bosses but you know, it does suck when you hear comments that you're useless and you're trying the best you can.

I thought that would be it but noooo. This married couple came in with their horrendously annoying children. I was having a chat with the husband and his wife kept looking over giving me evils so naturally you're going to keep glancing over to see if they're giving you evils.

He looked really henpecked, kinda like he didn't want his wife to be there. I think he enjoyed chatting to me because it appeared to him that I was listening to him. I did feel sorry for him a bit.

Anyway they kept saying
"ooh it's 7 o clock and the kids should be in bed, ooh it's 8pm and the kids should be in bed"

right up until 11pm when they left. Numerous people told them to take them home and apparently she'd told the land lady the same story 4 times because she doesn't get out much.

Rewind a few hours and they were absolutely pissed and she kept digging into his pockets to get things out while he was trying to chat to me.

I think this is what married women in their thirties do to claim their men. Then he blew up at her and was shouting at her

"you're f***ing embarrassing me, you are REALLY. F***KING. Embarrassing me".

Then she stormed off and he was apologising to me.

He was absolutely smashed and kept rolling his eyes at me when his wife was talking to him. Then he comes back to me and started asking me what my problem was.

"I haven't got a problem."
"Why are you trying to cause problems for everyone then?"
"I'm not trying to cause problems for anyone I'm just doing my job."
"Then why are you trying to cause SHIT for everyone?"
"Dude chill out yeah I'm not causing shit for anyone."

So I went out for a cigarette and I passed him on the way out when he looks me right in the eye and sneers "You 'orrible cow."

I ignored him because he was smashed. And he follows me doesn't he, and we're on our own in the yard and I'm a bit scared.

"Sorry."
he says really pathertically.

"it's ok."
"I'm really sorry, just stressed." he slurs.
"it's ok. honestly it's fine."

"I want to go home with the kids but she won't let me."

I shrug sympathetically.

"Where are you from?"
"For the fifth time tonight, I've told you I'm from Wigan."

"Shithole isn't it? Sorry I shouldn't swear infront of women."
"...It's fine, I hate Wigan too."

"Sorry."

Then he shakes my hand and kisses me on the cheek. I begrudgingly kiss him back on his cheekand he goes. For that split second I desperately wished I was wearing lipstick. It'd serve him right for giving me shit but I can't be bothered with insecure thirty odd year old women when I have a fox of a husband at home. It served a lesson on marriage and I hope I never get like that and not to see my husband more than anything than a means of financial stability.

Then it gets worse.

We wind down and we have a lock in [which, ever since I started working there happens frequently]. So I'm pissed and I'm not really sure what happened but the cruel jokes about my weight started to set in.

They asked me questions like "do you get out of breath quick?" and "when you look down can you see your feet?" "How do you feel when you look in the mirror" and "when was the last time you looked in a full length mirror?"

Needless to say I returned home in floods of tears. Seriously thinking about handing in my notice because it's just nasty what they were saying. But I can't say anything because they'll prey on me more and I feel like a prat saying something to the landlord after I give off an air of nothing-offends-me-and-if-it-does-I'll-break-your-face.

Which is true I am like that but I feel really weak and pathetic. I'm sorry I'm not a size 6. But I am certainly not fat. I've been told I have a "cracking"set of tits by more than one patron so I don't get it. They want me to be a size 6 with double D's Only surgery will give you big tits and a small waist. I can't be thin and have big boobs.